I wrote the book of the dead.

Everytime I open my mouth, "I don't care"'s spill out. They seem to just fall out and never stop. They keep falling and falling as if they were going to Wonderland. Or perhaps they were going down the caves to meet death in the Underworld. I saw the Great Achilles down there. He told me he'd rather be slaves for the scum. Even the great have to fall sometime.

Everytime I open my eyes, I pretend I don't care. The only problem with this is I'm a bigger liar than I let on. I lie to myself day after day. I hate myself because I care more than anything. I care about you and what they do. I care about me and what I see. I care about the world and how ugly it is.

I want to fall down a big black hole just so you'd come after me. You'd stare down and see nothing. No glowing eyes. No sparkling smiles. Nothing. Darkness. Black. My skin would turn ebony. My eyes dead. I would be dead and you'd all miss me.

I zig zag my way through this maze called life. I wait on shortcuts through hedges and hints in the sky. The birds won't sing to me unless I sing to them. I sing at the top of my lungs even when someone's around. My lungs feel as if they're going to collapse at any moment, but I just laugh it off. I laugh everything off. It echos and echos in my mind. My heart. My soul. My body aches but I go on and on. I want to cut myself off because I'm not making any sense. I want to formulate a formula to make life easy. I'd be a millionare but people would continue dying anyway.

Staring down, 6 feet under. Looking up, 6 feet above. I want my wedding day to be full of rain and my funeral day full of sun. Doom my love, doom my new life. Celebrate the life I lived, not the life I lost. Look down at me while I smile back up at you. I will be smiling. My face will be cold, pale, and motionless. All the color gone from my cheeks and lips that used to hold a smile. My eyes will be closed, but I will be there. I swear to every single one of you I will wink and grin. "My mind is playing tricks on me." No, it isn't. It's the same old me, just dead. Happy to know I've lived. Happy to know I'm moving on - and so will you.

Soon I will be forgotten. Soon we will all be forgotten. No one will remember my unforgettable laugh. No one will remember me.

Everytime I open my mouth, "I don't care"'s spill out. They seem to just fall out and never stop. They keep falling and falling as if they were going to Neverland. Or perhaps they were going down the caves to meet death in the Underworld. I saw the Great Achilles down there. He told me he'd rather be slaves for the scum. Even the great have to fall sometime.
Staring down, 6 feet under. Looking up, 6 feet above.