I'm not scared to die, but I'm a bit afraid of what comes after.

I want to put summer into one of my old shoe boxes and save it for those cold winter months. For some reason I've gotten to thinking that if I save a little sunshine for then, when I open my box it will all come bursting out. I'll be back to the lazy days I spent at home instead of those busy days at school. Like that could ever happen.

I spend my whole day awaiting the night. I wait for one minute conversations instead of enjoying my company. It makes no sense, really. I'll miss these days I've clearly wasted soon ... wasted on waiting for nothing ...

I don't make sense anymore. Not even to myself. I want to play hard to get but he's already got so much of me. I'm too impatient. As much as I want to take it slow and play it by year, I want to know all that he has planned for us. Or all that he doesn't have planned. Am I even in his future? Tonight's awkward conversation makes me laugh. It might've been the whiskey I drank. I'll blame it on that.

I've realized stars are some of my favorite things. Maybe because they're always there when others aren't. They're there to talk to, wish on, and dream with. Always there to listen when others cover their ears or turn away. A little piece of you in the sky, but farther away. Perhaps that's better. We can't attach ourselves to them as we do to people. Yet, they still smile down at us and we love them just the same ...

I like when people listen to me word for word, not just beginning and end. I like when people pick out certain words and phrases and relate them back to things I've said before. I always repeat things in some way and in some form. It takes a true friend to realize this. I love her for this.